


Meant For You

by ohdarlingg



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Body Swap, Canonical Child Abuse, M/M, Soulmate AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-31
Updated: 2018-07-31
Packaged: 2019-06-19 14:10:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15511578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohdarlingg/pseuds/ohdarlingg
Summary: Ronan finds out the hard way what a complicated thing it is to be Adam Parrish.Soulmate AU where you wake up in the body of your soulmate the day after the younger one's seventeenth birthday





	Meant For You

Something was very wrong. The gears in Ronan's sleep addled mind were only just beginning to turn and already he could sense the wrongness of it all. The mattress was too hard, the bed too small, the room too cold to be his room at Monmouth. He thought back to his night with Kavinsky, the sound of tires squealing against the road and the taste of beer sweet in his mouth, but came up with no reason why he wouldn't be in his bedroom. His last memory was foggy from booze, but he distinctly remembered ending his birthday by crawling into bed.

 

Ronan pushed himself up on his elbows and took in his surroundings. The room was unfamiliar, if you could even call it a room. It was small enough to be a walk-in closet, filled only with a bed and a small dresser attached to the wall. He raised his hand to scrub it through his buzzed head, but there was the wrongness again as his fingers brushed longer, messy strands instead.

 

"What the fuck," he mumbled in a voice that was gravelly with sleep but decidedly not his own, a voice that made him startle. Was that a Henrietta accent? Realization hit him all at once as the wheels in his mind spun faster, a stunning smack of the obvious leaving him momentarily breathless. His seventeenth birthday. He was in his soulmate's body.

 

Newly reenergized, Ronan leapt from the bed and was at the small cracked mirror hanging from the door in one long stride. He blinked as Adam Parrish stared back at him, looking sleepy and confused, the ghost of a bruise beginning to heal beneath his left eye.

 

Ronan blinked. And then blinked again. The reflection didn't change. He lifted a hand and watched as Parrish did the same. He gently touched the bruise and winced at the pain it caused. Parrish mimicked his actions. He scowled. Parrish, with his signature dusty hair and freckled nose, scowled back.

 

He stumbled backwards away from the mirror and felt his legs give out as soon as the backs of his knees hit the bed.

 

He'd known it would be a guy, even if he hadn't yet completely processed what that meant for his Catholic upbringing, but  _Parrish_? Something must have gone wrong. Wires must have gotten crossed up somewhere and he’d landed in the wrong body. He couldn't stand Gansey's latest project, smart and determined and stubborn as hell, with his scholarship and his three jobs and his fucking awful family—

 

His family.

 

Ronan glanced over at the closed door and his jaw tightened with anticipation. Despite his distaste for Parrish, he'd noticed the bruises and the frequent absences. It was impossible to miss to anyone that wasn’t as clueless as Gansey. He‘d fallen into daydreams in the middle of math class of swinging a fist at Robert Parrish's stupid face more times than he could count.

 

This was the perfect opportunity to make that dream a reality. Not only would he get the satisfaction of hitting Robert Parrish, he'd be able to do it with  _Adam's_  face. He could show that asshole why he should never mess with Adam again.

 

Then Ronan thought of Adam, sporting a black eye and a fat lip in Latin, of Adam, missing school because of a broken rib, of Adam, mumbling that he didn't need to learn how to fight because his dad had a gun. Adam, eyes blank and bleeding out from a bullet wound.

 

"Motherfucker," Ronan groaned. The venom sounded strange in Adam’s voice. Okay, so he couldn't hit Adam's father while in Adam's body. Fine.

 

He threw on some of Adam's clothes—jeans and his Coca Cola t-shirt—and tried to clear his face of any emotion before stepping out into the main room.

 

Adam's mother was hunched over by the stove, frying bacon. Adam's father was already nursing a beer. This was the first time Ronan had ever seen them up close, not from the safe distance of the Pig a mile down the road, Adam ambling out of the car as quickly as possible.

 

"Where were you last night, boy?" Robert Parrish asked, looking over at him with disdain.

 

Ronan had to bite down on his bottom lip to stop himself from snapping back with sarcasm. He bit so hard that he could taste the sour sting of blood in his mouth. Ronan Lynch was not one to hold back, to keep his thoughts to himself. He couldn't open his mouth because then he would explode.

 

"Fucking dumbass," Adam’s father said at the lack of a response, turning back to his beer.

 

Ronan took that as an excuse to make his exit, letting out a stream of held in swears under his breath all the way over to Parrish's rusty bike.

 

-

 

Adam woke up to the rapping of knuckles against a door, short and decisive. It was Gansey's voice that followed. "Ronan," he called. "Are you awake?"

 

Gansey's familiar voice startled him into a vaguely alert state, confusion clouding his mind. Adam had no reason to have slept at Monmouth and if he hadn't gone home the previous night, his father would have something to say about it. Or something to _do_ about it.

 

His sleepy eyes adjusted to the sunlight filtering into the room as he looked around curiously. Ronan's bedroom. He'd been in there only once before to hand him a slice of pizza, but he'd recognize it anywhere.

 

So, what was he doing in Ronan's bedroom?

 

"Ronan," Gansey called again, sounding like an irritated father, like his patience was wearing thin. His voice was followed by more knocking. "I promised Adam we'd meet him at Nino's at noon, remember? Noah and I will be waiting in the Pig."

 

Adam pushed himself out of the warm comfort of Ronan's bed and got to his feet, but something felt off.  _Everything_  felt off, actually. His eyes fell down to his body and concluded that something was definitely not right. He was wearing Ronan's leather wristbands. He was shirtless with skin too pale to be his own. He was not himself.

 

He stumbled over to the mirror and stared blankly at Ronan's face. It almost didn't look like Ronan with Adam's mind behind it, sharp edges softened, confusion evident on his features. Ronan's birthday had been yesterday, so that meant—

 

Adam wouldn't let himself think what that meant. Instead, he let himself think of what that meant for Ronan—it meant that Ronan was in his body at the trailer park. Anxiety washed over him as he imagined his own face swearing at his father's angry fists. He had to believe that Ronan was smart enough to keep quiet on his way out.

 

Adam clumsily pulled on a shirt and Ronan's boots and tried to come up with something to say on his way out to the car. If he told Gansey, he'd know what this meant. His ears were burning at the thought alone of anyone knowing that Ronan Lynch was his soulmate.

 

He got into the Pig and focused his eyes on the road. After a long moment, he said to no one in particular, "I'm not Ronan."

 

Gansey turned to look at him strangely, then his eyes lit up at the realization of what he was saying. "So, then you must be—welcome! I've been so rude, I forgot all about...I'm Gansey." Gansey had been through this months ago, telling them over pizza the story of how he'd woken up in the body of a tiny girl in a house full of psychics. It had been fascinating, he’d said. Since then, Blue had been a pretty constant fixture in their friend group.

 

Adam hesitated for another moment and then sighed. "I know who you are..." He squirmed uncomfortably in a way he was sure Ronan never had. It probably looked odd to watch, Ronan Lynch seeming unsure. "I'm Adam."

 

Noah whooped loudly from the backseat, pumping a fist in the air. Gansey stared ahead of himself silently.

 

"Adam?" he asked thoughtfully, not sounding mean or particularly judgmental, just curious. "As in,  _our_  Adam? Adam Parrish? You're Ronan's soulmate?"

 

"I guess." He slumped lower in his seat, watching the trees fly by outside the window. Gansey didn't say anything else. Whether that was for Adam's benefit or because he was too busy working the logic of it out in his mind, Adam couldn't tell. Either way, he relished in the silence and tried not to think about what Ronan was doing in his body.

 

-

 

Ronan was swearing up a storm as he parked the bike in front of Nino's, still catching his breath even as he yanked the door open and felt the flood of air-conditioning blow into his face. In their usual spot sat his friends- Gansey, gesticulating wildly about something, Noah, grinning at Gansey, and then Adam, slumped in his seat, somehow still managing to look like himself despite Ronan's body.

 

Ronan found himself sliding into the sticky booth beside Noah.

 

Adam reached up to run a hand through his hair, but then seemed to realize that he didn't  _have_  hair to run his fingers through. "Lynch."

 

"Parrish."

 

Gansey looked gleefully between them, even as they avoided each other’s eyes. The whole table was holding their breath with anticipation—for what, exactly, they weren't sure.

 

Ronan lifted one of Adam's bony, thin wrists to his mouth and then scowled when he remembered he didn't have his leather bands to chew on. Adam had them, along with his body, across the table.

 

"When the fuck does this wear off?" Ronan snarled.

 

"It’s different for everyone. It's dependent on your situation," Gansey said. "For me, it was as soon as Jane and I locked eyes for the first time, but you two already know each other, so that complicates things. I think the average is a day or two."

 

“The longest one was like, years,” Noah added unhelpfully.

 

Ronan shot him a glare, which was significantly less intimidating with Adam’s delicate features. "This is bullshit," he said. He grabbed a slice of pizza and shoved it into his mouth. He was so damn  _hungry_. Didn't Parrish ever eat? "I need my body back. I have shit to do."

 

“It could be worse,” Gansey said. “I’ve read about couples having to travel the world to find each other after the initial swap.”

 

"It’s still really inconvenient," Adam said. He looked pained as he continued, having to ask a _favor_ from _Ronan_ of all people. "Uh, listen, I know it's not your responsibility and you shouldn't have to do anything for me, but uh, you have my face and I have work in an hour. I..."

 

What he was trying to say was that he needed the money, that he couldn't afford to call out and risk losing the job. The words just weren't coming out right.

 

Ronan snorted. "Yeah, fine. Whatever. I'll go to your stupid job."

 

Adam's face shifted into something close to a smile. Relief, like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

 

"Don't think you're off the hook yet, Parrish," Ronan said. "If I do that, you've got to get lunch with Declan for me.”

 

Adam looked even more relieved. He was much more comfortable with an exchange of services than asking for favors. "Sure."

 

"Matthew will be there too, so it won't be all bad." Ronan ate three more slices of pizza, which made Gansey and Noah stare. It was very, very strange to see Adam's body unapologetically scarfing down most of the food on the table. Adam stared at the half-eaten piece in front of him rather than watch the display of gluttony. “And if we’re still like this tomorrow, you’ve got to go to church with them too.”

 

Adam shrugged. “And you’ll have another shift tomorrow.” It seemed like a pretty even trade.

 

Adam glanced down at his wrist to check the time and frowned when he remembered that his watch was currently on Ronan’s wrist. Or his wrist, but his wrist belonged to Ronan at the moment. Adam dug into his pocket for Ronan’s phone and checked the time there instead, ignoring the three missed texts from Declan in what he thought was a very Ronan move.

 

“You should go,” Adam said. “Or you’re going to make me late.”

 

“Calm down, Parrish.” Ronan polished off one more slice of pizza and stood up, groaning at the sight of Adam’s bike through the window. “Give me a ride.” It was a statement aimed at Gansey, not a question.

 

“Ronan, I would, but I have to get back to school for rowing in ten minutes,” Gansey said. Noah snickered. Adam was fighting off a smile, even though he was sort of the butt of the joke. What a punishment to have to be Adam Parrish, to have to bike everywhere and sacrifice having a beautiful, expensive car at your fingertips.

 

“Shit,” Ronan mumbled. He stood up, flipped off a still giggling Noah and stormed off.

 

No one had mentioned the soulmate thing, which seemed appropriate.

 

“I’ll give you a ride, Adam,” Gansey offered once Ronan had clumsily biked away.

 

“Special Ronan Lynch privileges?” Adam asked.

 

“No. Special Adam Parrish privileges.” Gansey grinned, throwing an arm around Adam’s shoulders as they headed out into the parking lot, standing on the tips of his toes to reach Ronan’s height. Adam didn’t even flinch at the physical contact.

 

-

 

Declan was already seated at the restaurant when Adam arrived. Matthew jumped up to greet him with a bear hug, shouting an excited, “Ronan!”

 

Adam smiled. It was hard to not smile while looking at Matthew, even when he was trying to keep Ronan’s moody thuggish reputation in place.

 

Adam sat down next to Matthew. Declan gave him a nod, so Adam returned the nod as icily as he could. He knew Ronan had immeasurable issues with Declan, but he had never understood why. Declan seemed fine.

 

“Ronan, you look like shit,” Declan said. “And I know you haven’t been going to school.”

 

Adam was caught off guard by the sudden animosity. Maybe he was beginning to realize why Ronan didn’t like his older brother very much.

 

“Uh, shut the fuck up,” Adam said, his tone a little too unsure to match Ronan’s venom. It came out almost like a question.

 

“You’re like a petulant child. I won’t stand by and watch you throw your life away.”

 

“Then don’t watch,” Adam said. Matthew giggled beside him and Declan seethed.

 

They ordered their food and Declan seemed content to let the subject drop for now, the two older boys listening intently as Matthew told them stories from school. Declan even cracked a joke at one point, which made Matthew shoot soda out his nose and tease him mercilessly about not usually having a sense of humor.

 

For one afternoon, Adam understood what it was to have a family.

 

-

 

It turned out that Adam’s job at the garage was  _hard_. Boyd was nice, but it was hot working under the car and after a few hours, Ronan was exhausted. It also turned out that biking everywhere was hard too, especially at night when cars couldn’t see him pedaling down the street and he had to swerve frequently to avoid being hit. And getting back at night to a home with no food was the hardest, his stomach aching with hunger.

 

Silently tiptoeing as to not wake up Robert Parrish, snoring loudly from an armchair, Ronan cracked open the fridge. The light shone on his face and inside, there was nothing but some half-used condiments. His stomach growled in protest as he shut the door and seriously contemplated smearing ketchup on bread for dinner.

 

On his way into Adam’s room, a noise made him pause in the hallway. He turned around to find Robert Parrish looming over him like a dark shadow. 

 

“What the fuck you doing, boy?” he snarled, reaching out to grab Ronan’s arm and shove him roughly against the wall. His breath smelled like alcohol, making Ronan’s eyes water. “Sneaking around this time of night.”

 

Ronan pried himself away, his heart pounding. Every instinct in his body was the opposite of Adam’s. Where Adam was flight, he was fight. His fists were aching for a collision, clutched at his sides, hands shaking with fury. Don’t, don’t, don’t, his mind begged him. You’re Adam right now. You can’t.

 

Robert Parrish hit him in the face, knuckles against his jaw— _Adam’s_ jaw—then once more before Ronan could react. “Answer me when I’m talking to you!” he slurred.

 

Ronan tasted blood. He thought of what Adam’s face looked like now, another bruise on his tan skin, and lost all self-control. He pounced forward and knocked Robert Parrish to the ground with one swing. Adam’s body was basically skin and bones and bruises, but Ronan knew how to fight, pounding his fists into the older man until his knuckles were numb.

 

“I’m calling the police!” Adam’s mother yelled from the kitchen.

 

Ronan wiped some of the blood from his face with the back of his hand, threw Adam’s backpack over his shoulders and stormed out, the screen door flapping behind him. He mounted Adam’s bike and pedaled as fast as he could, heart still going wild in his chest.

 

When he got to Monmouth, the lights were off, but he knew better than to be fooled by that. He methodically locked Adam’s bike up outside, as if anyone would ever steal it, and let himself in. 

 

Gansey was sitting in the middle of the floor, working on his Henrietta model with one lamp on beside him, his back to the door. Ronan wanted to keep it that way.

 

“Don’t let me disturb you, Dick,” Ronan said, quickly rushing past him towards his own bedroom. “Just missed seeing my pretty face.”

 

Gansey scoffed, his head still ducked in concentration. “Ronan, you have no idea how strange it is to hear your words coming out of Adam’s mouth.”

 

Ronan found the door of speeding tickets, let himself in and shut the door behind him. Adam was sitting on the bed, doing his Latin homework. The sight of himself concentrating on homework was so strange that he had to stop and stare, momentarily forgetting about the last hour of his life.

 

Adam glanced up and his eyes widened. Ronan stopped forgetting.

 

“Holy fuck,” Adam said, jumping to his feet. “Did my dad— he didn’t—you’re hurt…”

 

“I hit him back,” Ronan choked out, shame, hot and sticky like a humid day, choking him. Adam suffered the abuse every day and never snapped. Ronan couldn’t even take one hit. “I’m sorry.”

 

“Shit. It’s...it’s okay. It’s okay.” Adam reached a hand out to brush some of the blood from Ronan’s face—his own face. He didn’t know how to be mad at Ronan for defending himself.

 

Ronan collapsed into Adam’s arms and hugged him tightly. He couldn’t believe Adam put up with this shit every single day, suffering extreme hunger and exhaustion day in and day out, only to get home and get beaten for nothing at all.

 

Adam hugged him, smoothing back his hair. Ronan had missed the feeling of someone playing with his hair, like how his mother had stroked his curls before bed as a child. He stayed in his own strong arms for long enough to catch his breath, then pulled away.

 

“That fucking asshole,” Ronan muttered. He’d known for a while that something was wrong at the Parrish household, but he hadn’t anticipated such random and extreme violence. “I’m so sorry, Adam.”

 

“It’s okay,” Adam said again, even though behind his distracted eyes, the gears were already turning in his head, figuring out his next steps.

 

Ronan picked himself out some clothes from his own closet and headed into the bathroom to clean himself up, waving off Adam when he volunteered to help. The two of them going into the bathroom together would alert Gansey and then they’d have to deal with him on top of everything else. Leaning close to the mirror, he winced as he mopped the blood from his face and cleaned the cuts. 

 

As he undressed, his eyes fell down to Adam’s chest. There were bruises along his rib cage and scars littering his skin, parts of him that Ronan had never seen before. When he stripped down to his boxers, he could see bones protruding, more scars, the body of someone who hadn’t been dealt an easy life.

 

Ronan touched his face in the mirror delicately and then dressed in an old Aglionby t-shirt and a pair of his own sweatpants that were too long in the legs for Adam’s slightly shorter body. He thought Adam looked damn cute wearing his clothes, even though he was actually the one wearing his own clothes.

 

Technicalities.

 

He returned to his bedroom, somehow not disturbing Gansey in the process, and climbed into his bed in the dark.

 

“I’ll sleep on the floor,” Adam offered, pushing himself up on his elbows.

 

“No,” Ronan said firmly. He wrapped his arms around Adam and pressed his face into his arm, squeezing his eyes shut. Adam didn’t fight him on it, relaxing into Ronan’s body.

 

They both drifted off and had an uninterrupted night of deep, dreamless sleep.

 

-

 

When Adam woke up the next morning, he was relieved to see Ronan lying next to him, still fast asleep, not because he and Ronan were sharing a bed with their limbs tangled together, even though he was pretty smitten about that too, but because that meant he had his own face again.

 

Ronan had done his damage, though. He couldn’t go home.

 

Getting dressed in some clothes borrowed from Ronan, he headed out early. First stop was the police station and then to work. By the time he got off and returned to Monmouth, it was well into the afternoon. Ronan was sitting in his room, perched in bed, lazily finishing Adam’s Latin homework.

 

Adam snorted. He shut the door behind him and sat on the edge of the bed. “What are you doing?”

 

“What’s it look like, Parrish?” Ronan asked gruffly, staring daggers down at the notebook. “You didn’t finish your stupid homework, so I thought I’d do you a favor and get you a perfect score. You know, since it’s my fault you look like even more of a loser now.”

 

Adam laughed and lay back on the bed. “Did you get to church this morning?”

 

“Yeah,” Ronan said. “I actually…I noticed that they’re renting the room above St. Agnes. It’s pretty cheap. Thought you might want to look at it.”

 

“Yeah,” Adam said. “I’ll check it out.”

 

Ronan set the book aside and held himself over Adam with one hand, examining the injuries on his face.

 

“Fuck,” he said, running gentle fingers over his cheek, careful not to apply too much pressure. “I’m sorry.”

 

“I know,” Adam said softly. “You’ve told me about eighty times now.”

 

“Smartass.”

 

Ronan leaned down in a moment of sudden bravery and kissed him. Adam kissed him back. When Ronan pulled away, they were both smiling and a little embarrassed.

 

“So, I guess I’m your soulmate,” Ronan muttered. “Sucks to be you. Literally.”

 

Adam laughed and shoved Ronan’s shoulder. “Nah, it’s not so bad,” he said, lacing their fingers together. “Not today.”


End file.
